Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Yvonne Jones, A Time To Heal: The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: "It's not my fault"

     One of the worst things a person who is being abused can do is believe the lie, "Its your fault." I think one of the hardest lessons for a woman to learn is, you cannot fix everyone or everything. God created us to be nurturers, and automatically we see a problem and believe we have the answer. "If I would just do this, or if I wouldn't have done that, he wouldn't be treating me this way." The sad part is, he tells you that you are to blame, and convinces you that if you would just learn to listen to him and do what he says then he wouldn't have to hurt you.
     I had to learn the hard way that it didn't matter what I did, or said, it was always my fault according to him. God did not create us to be a punching bag for anyone and if you are being abused in any way at all, you need to realize that "ITS NOT YOUR FAULT." The truth is, it doesn't matter what you do, how you act, or even how you treat him; if he gets angry, it will always be your fault in his eyes.
     Remember, only God can change a persons heart and life, and that person has to be willing to change. Next: "He said he'd kill my family.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Yvonne Jones, A Time To Heal: The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: I'm being watched

     Have you ever been in a room and just sensed that someone was looking at you from a distance? You might not be able to see them, but you just somehow know that they are there. This is another sign of a person who is potentially abusive. I guess you could also title this "Being Possessive." If your partner cannot seem to be away from you at all for any length of time, becomes angry if they can't reach you by phone, accuses you of cheating on them if you are a few minutes late, monitors your phone calls, and I could go on and on; This is not love, this is someone who is controlling, possessive and most likely will be physically abusive. 
     One of the first things someone who is abusive does, is try to get you away from your family. Your family will be the first ones to notice if there is something different,  not quite right with you, or If you start to act strange etc. They become jealous and demand all of your time, pretending that they just love you and want to be near you; yet not wanting to let you out of their sight.
      I couldn't go to the grocery store alone, without having him accuse  me of fooling around with one of the male cashiers and I was 9 months pregnant. If I was a little late coming home then I was cheating or trying to leave  He would listen in on my phone calls and I would get beatings afterwards because of something I may or may not have said to the person on the other end.
      Let me warn you, if you are dating, or in a relationship and you are being watched or monitored continuously then this is abuse. If someone truly loves you, they will trust you, no matter where you go or what you do, with or without them. Next: "Its not my fault."

Friday, September 25, 2015

Yvonne Jones, A Time to Heal: The Struggles of A Battered Woman on: Saying yes whether you mean it or not

    Have you ever been around somebody who well just about everything they say or do you disagree with? You really wanted to tell them that you didn't agree, but doing so would bring about an argument, or even worse. This is one of the biggest forms of abuse that is so damaging. Sometimes you have to learn to agree to disagree, that's true and sometimes in order to keep peace, its better to just let them believe you agree whether you do or not. However in a relationship that's abusive this is very dangerous. If you start out in the beginning having to agree with someone just to keep from getting hit etc., then you need to get out as soon as possible.
      My ex-husband told me many times that I was stupid, fat, ugly, and that nobody but he would ever love me. He would often say "you are stupid aren't you?" Then tell me I'd better say yes or he would kill me etc. I found myself many times agreeing with whatever he said just hoping that it would calm him down, and even then sometimes it didn't matter. If I agreed he'd hit me, if I didn't agree he'd hit me, and it got to the point that it didn't matter whether I spoke or didn't say anything at all, he would still hit me.
      If you have to keep peace by agreeing to something that you disagree with, then this is abuse. God created each one of us with different personalities. You may not always agree with me and I may not always agree with you, but that doesn't give us the right to hurt someone because of it. The longer you stay in this kind of an abusive relationship, the harder it is mentally to get out. Next: "I'm being watched."

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Yvonne Jones, A Time To Heal: The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: Sexual Abuse

  So what is sexual abuse and how can there be sexual abuse in marriage? After all God ordained sex in marriage and 1 Corinthians 7:4 says "The wife hath not power over her own body but the husband and likewise the husband also hath not power of his own body but the wife. Now what does this mean? Well I believe that in marriage, God intends for sex to be beautiful and for husbands and wives to enjoy their sexual relationship. Also that husbands and wives alike should not deny each other this intimacy for long periods of time. However, when one partner is demanding the other partner to do things that they are not comfortable with, becoming violent during sexual relations, or making you be the soul initiator as my ex-husband did. Then this becomes abuse. 
      If I didn't initiate sexual relations with him every day, he would become angry and accuse me of not loving him or wanting him, afterwards becoming violent and hitting me. This doesn't apply to marriage only, kids are learning about sex a lot earlier now than they used to and are being taught that its ok as long as you protect yourself. The sad part is they are taking it out of the parents hands and allowing the schools to issue birth control without the parents permission. . I say this if you have a job, are paying your own bills and can take responsibility for your actions and the consequences thereof, then and only then should you be given the option of birth control.
      You don't have to be an adult to be sexually abused, children are being solicited on the internet every day, kidnapped and used for human trafficking. Whether you are a child, teenager or a consenting adult, anything forced upon you against your own will is abuse.  Next, "Saying yes whether you mean it or not."

Monday, September 21, 2015

Yvonne Jones, A Time To Heal; The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: Signs of an Abuser

Hi friends, October is Domestic violence awareness month. Now there's nothing wrong with having a month set aside to make people aware of something, but just  like Cancer, other diseases, child abuse etc. it doesn't just happen during these months, it happens every minute of every day.
      Abuse whether its spousal abuse or child abuse is something people don't like to discuss but if you have kids, are dating, single and looking, etc. you need to know that every man or woman you meet are not always the perfect individuals they claim to be. One of the first signs of a potential abuser is what the bible calls a froward mouth and a flattering tongue. Proverbs 26:28. How does the saying go? Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.  Lets face it most people are going to put their best foot forward, and show only their best qualities when you first meet them.
     So just remember, if it sounds too good to be true then its probably a lie. Listen to what he or she says, it won't take long to see if they really telling the truth or just shooting you a line. Tune in next time for "Short Fuses."

Wednesday, September 16, 2015


Hello all, just wanted to say I'm so sorry to anyone who may be following me on my blog for not posting any more than I have. I'm quite busy these days and its just been real hard to get to. I'm going to do better I promise because there are alot of hurting people out there and so many who are being abused that may not have anybody to turn to. So please pray for me that God will help me redeem my time and do what I feel he has called me to do. God bless.