Friday, April 3, 2015


Well some of you may or may not know that April is Child Abuse prevention and awareness month. If you've never pulled up the statistics on child abuse, take some time to do so the results will shock you. The ones of you who know me and my story are aware that I know all too well not only about child abuse but also about spouse abuse. Last month marked 23 years that my son was murdered at the hand of an abuser. Unfortunately it also marked the end of a 25 year journey for me of 7 years in prison, 5 1/2 months in a halfway house and 14 years on parole. Why do I say unfortunately? Yes I am very thankful that this journey for me has finally ended, for the first time in 25 years I can say that I'm totally free. The fact is if I had known what to look for in the signs of an abuser, and my family would have known the signs of someone who was being abused, I may not have had to go through this painful time in my life and more importantly, I might be standing here looking at the grandchildren of my son instead of having to visit his grave. You see what people don't realize is, you don't have to be involved in the crime itself, all you have to do is be present at the time it happens and you will be charged as an accessory. The law doesn't look at the fact that you've never been in trouble before, you had no idea what was going on, or you were mentally incapable of acting at the time, they simply look at the fact that you as a mother should have gotten your child out of there before it was too late. Abuse in all of its aspects is very hard to understand, and unless you have gone through it yourself, you can never possibly begin to know the mental anguish, the fear not only what will happen if you stay, but also the fear of what will happen if you leave. If you'll look at the many cases of abuse, the abuser most always tracks the victim or victims down, and the end result unless someone intervenes is usually death of some kind. Sure it would be great if the death was always the abuser, but most of the time its the victim, and sometimes even the victims family. It doesn't matter if you've been touched in some way by abuse or not, we all know someone who knows someone who has or is still going through abuse right now of some kind. We owe it to ourselves, those we love, our friends and even those we are acquainted with, to know the signs of not only those who would be potential abusers, but those who are being abused. I know from experience, that you don't tell anybody when you're being abused. You've somehow come to believe that you're the one who's at fault, if you would just do things differently then maybe he wouldn't be so hard on you. You're ashamed of who you have become, feeling like a helpless frightened child who can only do what they're told. Its a prison nobody should ever have to be in. Its a cause just like cancer that should be recognized and fought for every day of the year, not just certain months. Please educate yourself today on all types of abuse, and be that person who can hopefully help to save the lives of those who are bound by this horrible prison. Thanks for taking the time to read this and God bless.