Monday, November 11, 2013
HAPPY THANKSGIVING Well good morning everyone, I pray that your month and day has started out to be a good one. Time fly,s by fast, it's already the 11th day of the month. Thanksgiving will be here before you know it. I got up with some friends on my mind this morning as well as some family members, and I just felt led to write this blog this morning. Satan is out to kill, steal, and destroy our lives and he always starts in the home. If he can get the husband and wife against each other then it cause's confusion, with each other, the children, and just life in general. God has a prescribed order for victory. What is that you say? Well its what God's word says about any situation, the way he intended it to be. He has a plan for all of our lives and he has an order for everything to take place and when things are out of order, in the home, or anywhere else then there will be confusion and it won't work. Its sad to say but in most homes today, things are way out of order. I'm sorry if I offend some of you by what I'm about to say, but its Bible so don't blame me. Ladies, whether you like it or not, God's prescribed order for victory was for God to be first in your's and your husband's life, the husband to be the head of the household, you are to be next and the children last. There are some homes where that is taking place and if you look at those homes, most of them are or lets say seem to be running smoothly, because nobody except the people living there know exactly what goes on behind closed doors. No home is going to be without problems, thats just life. I also know that many women have no choice in being the head of the household because they're husband's have left, or just to put it bluntly, are just to sorry to take care of their families. Men are not being the leaders God called them to be and that's a huge problem in the home today. You show me a home where the man is reading the word of God on a daily basis, praying with his family, and making sure all of them are in church weekly, then I'll show you a home that's staying together and running alot smoother than most. That is God's prescribed order for Victory. I'm sorry men, but if you want your wife to love and respect you the way God intended then get in the word and find out what God's will is for you as a husband. What men fail to realize is, most women or lets say most Christian women have no problem loving, honoring, or being submissive to her husband if he is looking to God to help him lead his home. When our home's get right and everything is in God's order then things begin to fall into place. When our homes are not in order, our children are not in order, school's are not in order and everything is chaotic. We as a nation have so much to be thankful for. Regardless of what's going on around us, if we have Jesus Christ living inside of us then we have all we need. He is our leader, our guide and promise's in his word that he will take care of us no matter what. One thing I shared in our church bulletin yesterday was, if you have a spouse, be thankful, and love each other because there are many people who go to bed lonely every night. If you have children, spend time with them, because they won't be children for long, one day you are going to look up and they will be graduating high school and getting married. If your parents are still living, honor them and love them because many have lost their parents. For every thing or person you have in your life, someone else doesn't. God wants us to have joy, peace, and live in harmony with each other. He has to be first in all of our lives before there can be any order at all. I pray that everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving, and no matter what kind of problems you are facing today remember God is already there and he knows your every hurt and every need. He is waiting on you to ask for his help. If your home is out of order, let go of the pride and give God and your husband their rightful place in the home and if you're a man, don't abuse that place because one thing is for certain, you will be held accountable to God on how you lead your family. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH As most of you know its National Domestic Violence Awareness month. If you've made it to my page then you already know that this subject is close to my heart because I lost my 6 year old son to domestic violence 22 years ago. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my son, and I want to do everything I can to reach women and anyone else who's life is or has been touched by domestic violence. One of the most frustrating things to me is it seems so many people seem to sit in judgement of someone who stays with an abusive person, criticizes, or I've even known some who just flat out disowned their daughters because they refused to leave an abuser. I've also heard many people say, "I would have done this, or I would have done that if it had been me." The fact is no one actually knows how they will act until they have walked in that person's shoes. Everybody was created different, we all have different personalities, were raised different and handle situations differently. I said many years ago that I would never let a man beat on me and now I've written a book sharing my story of abuse. What I want people to realize is, you don't know who you're sitting or standing next too so many times and what they are going through or have been through for that matter. The legal system is the same way, they criticize and judge women who won't press charge's against an abuser, not giving any thought to the fact that the abuser has probably threatened them with death to loved ones or themselves. In my case my ex-husband had been arrested for wife abuse, child abuse and suspected of killing 2 other children other than mine. He was arrested for numerous DWI'S and was driving without a drivers license during the time I knew him because of DWI'S. They kept letting him go because he was what they called a good ole boy who just couldn't stay out of trouble. Well if the law had done their job and tried to learn about domestic violence, and take steps to help make people aware of what to look for, while at the same time taking men like my ex-husband off the streets, I would have never met him and my son would still be alive today. Its important to realize there are more kinds of abuse than just physical. There is emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, and mental abuse. No matter how you slice it, its all abuse and it needs to be stopped. Please help me make people aware of the importance of getting out, telling somebody, or making sure you take your time and get to really know a person before you become so emotionally attached. I am having a book-signing the 24th of this month at the Corner Coffee House in West Monroe. If you would like more information, would like a copy of my book or just need to talk, I will be there from 11:00 am till 2:00 pm. God bless.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Help Prevent Child Abuse April is National Child Abuse Awareness and prevention month. It seems like every time we turn on the television there is a story of some kind of abuse. Although abuse of any kind is bad, abuse to a child is the absolute worst.Children are helpless and innocent and have no other choice but to look at their parents for protection. This subject is near to my heart because 21 years ago, my son and I were the victims of abuse. After my first marriage ended, I met a man who from all actions and appearances was thought to be the man of my dreams. In reality, he turned out to be my worst nightmare. He wined me and dined me with candlelight dinners and roses almost every day. He was very attentive to me and my son in the beginning and made us feel loved like never before. Being convinced that this was a dream come true, I compromised my spiritual beliefs and moved away with him. Very shortly after, the abuse began, first to me, then gradually to my son. One year later, he murdered my 6 year old son. Why does any woman stay in a relationship like this? The answer is for many different reasons. If you look at the statistics, in almost every case of abuse no matter how hard the person tries to get away, the abuser always finds them. Threats of violence and death to other family members are also reasons they stay. In many women's eyes its just easier to stay and take the abuse hoping that things will change, instead of taking the chance of other family members being hurt. Shame, guilt, and fear are all a big part of why women stay.One thing is for certain, it doesn't matter how much you hope things will change, only God can change a heart and that heart has to be willing to change. Many people stand in judgement saying, "I would have done differently if it had happened to me." I said the same thing years before this happened. The fact is,none of us know how we will react in any situation until we are faced with it. Unless you have walked in someone's shoes you have no right to judge. One final thought, we live our lives by the choices we make, good or bad those choices not only affect you, the affect everyone who loves you. If you know someone who is being abused, let them know you are there to help them. it could mean the difference between life and death.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Well Happy New Year. I guess its a little late in coming since its already February but better late than never they always say. It seems like its been forever since I've even been on here to post anything and for that I am ashamed. I want so much to promote my book and just do what I can to help other women who have been abused, but it just seems like there are not enough hours in the day or enough money in my bank account to spend the time doing what I love to do. Writing is the one thing I want to do the most and really feel like this is what God has called me to do, but its so hard when you don't have the money to pay bills. I'm in bad need of a new laptop as well. Mine has really had it, but no matter what is going on in my life right now, I know that God is in control and he knows whats best for me regardless of what I think or feel. I don't know who will be coming to view this page or even when but if for some reason your eyes to fall upon this page, especially before February 13, 2013 then please keep me and my family in your prayers. For those of you who know the story, you may have already heard that my ex-husband, the man who murdered my son almost 21 years ago is going to be executed on February 13, 2013. For those of you who don't know the story or who have not read the book then through my website you can learn some about what its about. In alot of ways it seems like it was just yesterday, then in many ways it seems like its been a long time. No matter how long its been, the pain will never go away. Oh God has brought me to a place where I can live with it and knowing that I will see my son again one day soon in Heaven definitely helps, but losing a child for any reason is one of the hardest things a person can ever go through. I've had many ask me how do you feel about the execution? Well I have no feelings about it one way or the other. Its not up to me to decide his fate, thats in the hands of almighty God. In the beginning I would have been ready to make him suffer no matter what the cost, but God in his infinite mercy took this person who was so broken and abused, mentally not even able to function, and unable to even realize the reality of my sons death, and showed me that the only way that I was ever going to be able to heal, was to forgive. I didn't want to forgive him of course, I didn't want to forgive myself either but forgiveness is not choice where Christ is concerned. Oh it is, but the bible says that you cannot be forgiven unless you forgive. As hard as it was for me the one thing that made the difference and helped me to make the step towards forgiveness was a message I heard by Charles Stanley. He said, when you harbor unforgiveness, hatred and bitterness in your heart towards another person you become that person's prisoner. I had been this mans prisoner long enough and I knew that I didn't want to be his prisoner anymore. Forgiveness didn't come over night, but just taking that step of Faith and being obedient to the word of God, was what gave me what I needed to forgive him and later to forgive myself. The media announcements have gone out already and they have even notified the victims to see if any of us wanted to attend the execution. Since in the eyes of the law I wasn't considered a victim, they just called me to see if I had a comment. My family has no desire to watch somebody die, especially in this way. I'm so thankful to have such a loving family, one who loves God with all their heart and lets him be the leader of their lives. Did I comment? No I have nothing to say. God is the one who allowed the sentence to be handed down and he is the one who will have the final say in what happens on February 13. I don't know who all will see this, I don't know what you're going through, or even what you've been through, but God does. 20 years ago there was not alot of education on battered women and the DA said he was using me as an example as to what happens to women who stay in abusive relationships. I did 7 years in prison because I was there at the time of my sons death, yet mentally unable to stop it. You may be going through a similar situation right now, or you may know of somebody else who is. Abuse is real and it happens everyday and it doesn't matter how strong you think you are, or what you think you would do in a situation like this, just be aware that the things in life that you are so sure you would not do or allow are usually the things that end up happening to you later. Before I was even married for the first time, I saw a movie on TV about a man beating his wife and I said, "there is no way I would let a man beat on me like that." The important thing to remember is, don't judge a person unless you've walked in their shoes, and don't ever think you're too strong to ever have a tragedy happen in your life. None of us are promised tomorrow, and only God knows what is ahead of each one of us, its up to us to stay close to him and be ready for whatever may come our way. I should have lost my mind back then, and almost did several times but God had a better plan for my life. He knew I needed to be mentally able to share my story so I could help other people. He brought me through the most horrible tragedy of my life, and he is there for you as well, no matter what you are facing today. I pray that if you're facing abuse of any kind right now, trying to get out, struggling to make a decision on whats best for you and your children, that my story will somehow help you see, you cannot change that person, only God can change a heart, and that heart has to be willing to change. Don't stay for any reason, especially if you feel your life or the lives of your children are in danger. Get out, find a friend, a shelter, a church, somebody who will help you and leave the abuser in God's hands.