Update

Hello all, just wanted to say I'm so sorry to anyone who may be following me on my blog for not posting any more than I have. I'm quite busy these days and its just been real hard to get to. I'm going to do better I promise because there are alot of hurting people out there and so many who are being abused that may not have anybody to turn to. So please pray for me that God will help me redeem my time and do what I feel he has called me to do. God bless.

Yvonne Jones A Time To Heal on: What is Domestic Violence

The United States Department of Justice defines domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. 
     Hi, my name is Yvonne Jones Author of A Time To Heal; The Struggles Of A Battered Woman. One of the most difficult lessons I had to learn in life is, we live our lives by the choices we make, and all it takes is one bad choice to ruin the rest of your life. Domestic violence is a worldwide problem that is highly misunderstood, taken for granted, and overlooked by many, including law enforcement. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot more education today about domestic violence, more help resources, more battered women's shelters, and more people who are sharing their stories in order to help someone else. There is an old saying that goes like this, "you never know how you will act or respond in a certain situation until you have gone through that situation yourself." In other words you can sit there and say, "well I would have done this, or I would have done that, there's no way I would have let that happen." The truth is none of us know how we will react to any situation until we are going through it ourselves. 
     Many years ago, when I was just a teenager I remember watching a show on TV where this man was beating his wife. I sat there and said, "man I would never let a man hit on me like that." I meant every word I said, but little did I know that one day years later I would be faced with that same situation, and guess what? I did just the opposite of what I said. Did I go into that relationship knowing that he was an abuser? NO! We don't purposely scope somebody out who we know is going to beat us or even possibly kill us. Men who abuse women do not show that side of themselves until they have started dating that person and gained her trust. Or do they? There are signs that you can look for in a person who is a potential abuser, but you won't know what those signs are unless you are looking for them and not allowing yourself to be taken in by their charm. 
     You may not have ever been abused, or know of anyone else who has but if you have children then one day you will have grandchildren, all of  us have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, friends etc. that we love and would not want to be abused. Whether you think you need to know about domestic violence and the many areas it covers or not, one day you will run into someone who does. You never know if that someone just might be related to you. 
     How do we help people who are going through addictions to alcohol, drugs, etc. Well its a little hard to tell someone how to get off drugs if you've never had a drug problem, etc, etc. but most of us know of someone who has been delivered from those addictions and we can help others by sharing our stories, and encouraging them to share theirs. What do people at alcoholics anonymous meetings do, they share their stories. 
     I will be starting a series of blogs that teaches you what to look for in a potential abuser, the steps to take in helping someone who is being abused, healing after abuse, and my own personal story of abuse that took the life of my 6 year old son. I hope you will follow me on this journey and I hope to be able to hear your stories as well. Until next time, may God bless and I look forward to having you help me put a stop to domestic violence.

DON'T WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW

                                                  DON’T WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW
 

I feel an urgency in my spirit

 the time is drawing near;

 that Eastern sky will soon split wide open,

 Gabriel’s, trumpet will sound loud and clear.

What will he find us doing,

 what state will we be in;

 will we be praying  and anxiously waiting,

 or still living a life filled with sin.

We live each day like we have many tomorrows,

 saying we’ll wait until time is right.

 I dread to think about the pain and sorrow we’d feel,

 should he decide to come tonight.
What a horrible reality to have to face,

 when you thought you had plenty of time

 but you look around and your loved ones are gone,

 and you have been left behind.

My friends don’t put off until tomorrow, 

what you have a chance to do today;

 Eternity is forever, this old world will soon pass away.

 This old world offers many pleasures,

 but none of them can compare,

 to the glory we’ll have over yonder,

 when we reach that city so fair.

I have loved ones who have gone before me,

 I can wait to put my arms around,

 but most of all I want to see Jesus,

 and at his feet I’ll humbly bow down.
I want to praise him and give him glory,

 and thank him for all he’s done.

 For me he paid the ultimate price,

 he gave his only son.
If you’ve never given your heart to Jesus,

 why not do it today,

 don’t wait until tomorrow,

 tomorrow just may be too late. 

Written by Yvonne Jones 3/17/2003

HAPPY JULY 4TH

This year has brought changes in America that has not taken God by surprise; he knows all, and knew these changes would occur even before he created each and every one of us. It’s hard to think about the many men and women who died and the ones who are still dying today, to give us the freedom we have enjoyed for so many years, yet is being taken away from us each and every day. Our nation was founded on the principles of God and with every generation God is slowly and surely being pushed aside and told that he is not welcome, in our homes, our schools, our government, and not even in this world that he by just the words of his mouth spoke into existence. I want to say I’m sorry Lord, that I have not as a Christian stood  as I should and proclaimed your love to a lost and dying world, I haven’t fought for the lives of unborn babies like I should, I haven’t told the world that no matter how hard they try to pretend that you don’t exist, (you do) that your principles that this world was founded on don’t matter, because they do, that you are God and besides you there is and never will be another, because its true.  Today I boldly declare that you are alive in my heart, my life and you are welcome in my home, my family, and with your help I will do my best to let each person I meet know that you are God, you do exist, you are still in control and your word will stand throughout eternity. May God bless and have mercy on America.

NATIONAL CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION & AWARENESS MONTH

Well some of you may or may not know that April is Child Abuse prevention and awareness month. If you've never pulled up the statistics on child abuse, take some time to do so the results will shock you. The ones of you who know me and my story are aware that I know all too well not only about child abuse but also about spouse abuse. Last month marked 23 years that my son was murdered at the hand of an abuser. Unfortunately it also marked the end of a 25 year journey for me of 7 years in prison, 5 1/2 months in a halfway house and 14 years on parole. Why do I say unfortunately? Yes I am very thankful that this journey for me has finally ended, for the first time in 25 years I can say that I'm totally free. The fact is if I had known what to look for in the signs of an abuser, and my family would have known the signs of someone who was being abused, I may not have had to go through this painful time in my life and more importantly, I might be standing here looking at the grandchildren of my son instead of having to visit his grave. You see what people don't realize is, you don't have to be involved in the crime itself, all you have to do is be present at the time it happens and you will be charged as an accessory. The law doesn't look at the fact that you've never been in trouble before, you had no idea what was going on, or you were mentally incapable of acting at the time, they simply look at the fact that you as a mother should have gotten your child out of there before it was too late. Abuse in all of its aspects is very hard to understand, and unless you have gone through it yourself, you can never possibly begin to know the mental anguish, the fear not only what will happen if you stay, but also the fear of what will happen if you leave. If you'll look at the many cases of abuse, the abuser most always tracks the victim or victims down, and the end result unless someone intervenes is usually death of some kind. Sure it would be great if the death was always the abuser, but most of the time its the victim, and sometimes even the victims family. It doesn't matter if you've been touched in some way by abuse or not, we all know someone who knows someone who has or is still going through abuse right now of some kind. We owe it to ourselves, those we love, our friends and even those we are acquainted with, to know the signs of not only those who would be potential abusers, but those who are being abused. I know from experience, that you don't tell anybody when you're being abused. You've somehow come to believe that you're the one who's at fault, if you would just do things differently then maybe he wouldn't be so hard on you. You're ashamed of who you have become, feeling like a helpless frightened child who can only do what they're told. Its a prison nobody should ever have to be in. Its a cause just like cancer that should be recognized and fought for every day of the year, not just certain months. Please educate yourself today on all types of abuse, and be that person who can hopefully help to save the lives of those who are bound by this horrible prison. Thanks for taking the time to read this and God bless.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Hello everyone, my heart is heavy tonight and I tried yesterday to post something, but my laptop has problems and deleted it all about the time I was getting finished. Must not have been meant for that one to go. I guess you could say my heart is heavy for several reasons. My son who was murdered almost 23 years ago by a man who had been arrested for wife abuse, child abuse and suspected of killing 2 other children other than mine, his birthday was October 6th, he would have been 29 years old. My birthday was on September 27th just a few days before and my mothers was October 2nd. I lost her 3 years after my son. This month hasn't gotten off to a good start. My daddy who is 78 years old went in the hospital the 29th of September throwing up blood, later was admitted to CCU with a diagnosis of a bleeding ulcer. We came closer to losing him than we ever have, my step mother who has been battling gastroperethis for years, has had several stomach surgeries, and now her stomach is one huge hernia, was admitted to the hospital the day they let my daddy go home. She now has an esophagus problem that has to be fixed soon. Hernia's no doctor will touch anymore because she has no stomach muscles at all. Both are home and daddy is getting stronger, but my step mother will still have to have the esophagus surgery soon. My friend Leatha was supposed to go in the hospital September 18th for a herniated disk in her neck and have surgery, instead she went in with severe stomach pain only to find out she has Lymphoma. One month later she is still in the hospital, now in ICU on a ventilator with fluid in her lungs and they can't do Chemo at all because it makes her worse. So if you don't mind please keep all my family and her family in your prayers. Now for the reason for my blog. As you know its Domestic Violence Awareness month, a very sensitive subject for alot of people, a world wide problem thats rarely talked about and highly misunderstood. As I said 23 years ago my son was murdered by an abuser of women and children. Back then there was no education on battered women, no understanding and no smypathy either. I as well as my mother inlaw at the time was there at the time the incident took place but I was unable mentally to stop it. Because of that fact, I too was arrested. The DA said he knew I had nothing to do with what happened and wasn't charging me for what I did, but what I didn't do which was to act at the time it happened. Long story short, I stayed in jail 2 weeks and was released to undergo counseling. 2 years later I was found guilty of manslaughter and sentenced to 21 years in prison. I did 71/2 years and was released on parole. The DA said he was using me as an example as to what happens to women who stay in abusive relationships. Before I went to prison, my counselor suggested that I write down my feelings and the things I could remember about what happened for my trial. My writing continued after I went to prison and later was material I would use to write my book "A Time To Heal: The Struggles Of A Battered Woman." My book has been out since 2011 and as you would guess, its hard to get attention when you are a first time author unless of course you are popular already. My book targets several different types of people. Of course those who are going through, have gone through, or know someone who is going through an abusive situation. Also, those who have lost loved ones at the hands of an abuser or just in general. It targets teenagers in highschool and helps them to realize that we live our lives by the choices we make and all it takes is one mistake to ruin the rest of your life. It targets all people who are dating, starting to date, or just waiting for the right person to come along. I talk about the importance of taking your time to get to know someone, knowing the signs of a potential abuser, and the importance of getting out of that relationship if you see those signs. It speaks to those who are in prison, have been released from prison, and the families involved because our decisions and what we go through not only affects us but it affects those we love. I don't claim to be anybody special, and I don't think I'm any better than anybody else, I just want to help other women and other people not have to go through the pain I've been through in my life because of my choices. If you've been following my post on face book you know I've been posting a message about the Authors Show. I joined that contest in hopes of spreading the word more about my book. If you haven't done so, please click on my page and go to the bottom where it says vote now. It then takes you to another page, you click on my name then go to the bottom where it says submit. I appreciate all the votes I can get. I'm asking everyone who believes that domestic violence is a problem, whether you know someone who has been abused or not to please vote for me. If my story can save the life of one person whether it be man, woman or child then my son will not have died in vain. I appreciate all of your prayers for my daddy, step mother and my friend Leatha. Thanks and God Bless. Oh and I will be at the Christmas festival in Jonesboro next month on the 29th and at the Christmas festival in Clarks on the 15 of next month. Hope to see you there. Thanks and God Bless.

WILL THIS NIGHTMARE EVER END? April 7, 20 years ago I got up, got dressed in my new clothes my Aunt had made for me, and headed to a courthouse 2 hours away. Only God knew what would happen this day. We were all very confident that things would be ok, after all God was in control, he had heard our prayers and we would all be headed home shortly after we arrived. After sitting there waiting for what seemed like an eternity, they finally called my name. As I stood there before the judge, confident that all was well, the next few words that came from his mouth were the hardest words I would hear. I hear-by sentence you to 21 years hard labor in the department of corrections with sentence to begin immediately. The deputy's immediately rushed to my side, handcuffed and shackled me right there in front of my family then led me away to the jail next door. All I remember was the voice of my mama screaming wait here's her purse. I had no idea that day where this journey was going to take me or just how long it would last. All I knew was I loved my little boy with all my heart and I knew I wasn't guilty of murder or manslaughter which is what they convicted me of. You see 2 years before this horrible day, my 6 year old son was murdered by my ex-husband. It wasn't until I was arrested myself that I found out that he had been arrested for wife abuse, child abuse and suspected of killing 2 other children other than my son. The lieutenant told me that the DA said he knew I had nothing to do with what happened and he wasn't charging me with what I did but what I didn't do and that was act at the time of my sons death. What kind of mother would stay with a man who was abusing her and her child? I asked myself that question and many more over and over again. I knew the kind of mother I was before I met this man. I loved my son with all my heart and was actually over protective of him. Well no matter what the answer was to this question and the many more that I had, I now had plenty of time to think about it. My ex-husband had been found guilty of murder and given the death penalty. The DA said he was using me as an example as to what happens to women who stay in abusive relationships. It was all so hard to believe. As they led me to the jail and got me settled they let my family come see me one more time before they went home. I can't describe the feeling I had, as I stood there behind a glass looking at the pain on my mama and daddy's face and the fear of not knowing what I was going to face. As we said our goodbyes my cousin came to the glass window and read me a scripture that God had given her to share with me. It was 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind. I had no idea that day that the next 7 years of my life would be spent in prison. I've been home now for almost 14 years, this tragedy happened 23 years ago. My ex-husband has been on death row all this time, and has had numerous stays of execution. 2 years ago my case was on the front page of the newspaper. The headlines read 20 Years ago today. I couldn't believe after all this time that this would be front page news again. I wondered why, is this just a ploy of the devil to get me down, and discourage me, of course this is what he wants to do to all of us who are trying our best to serve God with all of our hearts. Not long after the article came out there was another article, this time setting another date for execution. Ever since then he has been given more stays. He has filed suit against the Governor, the state of Louisiana and God only knows who else. Each time somebody listened and all I could think about was his words to me years ago when I met him. "I can talk my way into and out of anything he said." Don't get me wrong, life and death is in God's hands and he will have the final say. Does he know the Lord? Well when I met him he was lifting his hands and praising God in front of people and beating me and my son behind closed doors. He's had 23 years to get things right with God, and truly only God knows where he stands today. From what I've heard from a couple preachers who have visited him in the last 2 years they said he was the biggest con artist they had ever seen in their lives. I've been contacted by reporters, and have done several tv and radio interviews since they have been trying to execute him these past 2 years. How do I feel about the execution is the main question? Well the bible speaks of the death penalty several times in the bible, but as for me, I forgave him years ago. I had no choice but to forgive him, I knew that I was never going to heal until I was able to forgive. If you would have asked me this question right after my sons death of would have said kill him, as quick as you can. The only thing I want now is for them to make up their minds what they are going to do. It seems that the only reason they can't set a date to execute is because of the drug they plan to use. Its what they call cruel and unusual punishment to make him suffer for a few minutes before he dies. It doesn't matter what he did, not only to me and my son but to many other women and their children. The fact is 23 years after the fact we should not still be debating on what to do about someone who has tortured women and children, his fate should have been decided and carried out a long time ago. As for me, I have relived this nightmare over and over again. I wrote a book that was released in 2011 called A Time To Heal The Struggles of A Battered Woman. It tells my story from beginning to the end and I am doing all I can to help educate women all over the world on the signs of a potential abuser, and how to tell when someone is being abused. It doesn't matter to me one way or the other what they do with him, I pray he has made peace with God, I just want them to decide one way or the other. This just tells anybody out there who is committing crimes that as long as they keep filing suit against people, they can put their punishment off for a long time. For those of you who know about abuse you understand and know what its like. I've had many people tell me, "I would have done this and I would have done that." The fact is you may think you would have reacted a certain way, but you never know what you will do in a situation until you are faced with it. Don't pass judgement on a person if you've never walked in their shoes. April 7th they were planning another hearing to talk about the drug that was going to be used to execute him. They denied the hearing. They are supposed to be setting another date for the execution, maybe sometime in May. Until then, I will wait and continue to do my best to share my story. I'm asking for anyone who has read my book to please tell someone else, if you haven't read it, please do. Abuse is something that happens every day to many women and children and its so misunderstood. You can visit my website at yvonnejonesbooks.com or contact me personally through my email on my website. I am available for speaking engagements so feel free to contact me. May God bless each and every one of you.