Apology

Hello everyone,
     I'm not sure how many will see this but I want to apologize for the inactivity on my website and blog. Its not that I don't want to write, because writing is my passion but because of financial difficulties etc, I no longer have internet at home. I'm hoping to be able to start back to writing very soon and I appreciate your understanding.
   

Yvonne Jones, A Time To Heal; The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: "Short Fuses"

    Have you ever been around somebody who just about everything you say or do they disagree with? You really wanted to tell them that you didn't agree, but doing so would bring about an argument, or even worse. This is one of the biggest forms of abuse that is so damaging. Sometimes you have to learn to agree to disagree, that's true and sometimes in order to keep peace, its better to just let them believe you agree whether you do or not. However in a relationship that's abusive this is very dangerous. If you start out in the beginning having to agree with someone just to keep from getting hit etc. then you need to get out as soon as possible.

      My ex-husband told me many times that I was stupid, fat, ugly, and that nobody but him would ever love me. He would often say you are stupid aren't you? Then tell me I'd better say yes or he would kill me etc. I found myself many times agreeing with whatever he said just hoping that it would calm him down and even then sometimes it didn't matter. If I agreed he'd hit me, if I didn't agree he'd hit me, and it got to the point that it didn't matter whether I spoke or didn't say anything at all, he would still hit me. If you have to keep peace by agreeing to something that you disagree with, then this is abuse.

      God created each one of us different, we all have different personalities;  you may not always agree with me and I may not always agree with you, but that doesn't give us the right to hurt someone because of it. The longer you stay in this kind of an abusive relationship, the harder it is mentally to get out. Next: "I'm being watched."

Yvonne Jones, A Time to heal: The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: Help put an end to domestic violence

     Hi friends, although it happens everyday in the United States, October is the month that is set aside to help make people more aware of domestic violence. I know all too well the pain and heartache that comes with not only being abused but losing my precious son at the hands of an abuser.
     Domestic violence is one of the leading causes of death in women in the United States; and I fully believe that its because there is not nearly enough education nor enough people who are willing to step up and share their stories. I totally understand, especially if the abuser is still in any way a part of your life. Most of the time  there are children involved,  custody issues, and sometimes even threats of violence to other family members. The fact is if we as victims don't step up and share our stories,  then this cycle of abuse will continue to get worse.
      Today I want to encourage you to take a stand,  be bold and let's stop these abusers from having  control over our lives.  The Bible says we are more than conquerors through the blood of Jesus Christ and there is nothing that we cannot do without his strength.  You are somebody, your life matters, and you can be the key to freedom for other women who are being abused.
     Contact me if you have a story about abuse you would like to share and let's put an end to this horrible crime that is destroying women and children all over America.

Yvonne Jones, A Time To Heal: The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: "He said he'd kill my family."

      One statement we have all heard and possibly have said is, "you can talk about me all you want, but don't talk about or hurt my family." This is one of the main reasons a woman continues to stay in an abusive relationship. The sad part is, most of the time, the threats are real and are usually carried out even if the woman decides to leave.
     So many times she feels that it would just be much easier to stay than to get her family involved and take a chance on one of them being hurt or killed. This is also another reason why many women will not tell anyone that they are being abused.
     How many times have you been around someone who has a black eye, burns, and bruises on their body and the only thing they can come up with is, "I fell down the stairs."
     I didn't tell anybody including my family, that I and my son were being abused. If I had, they would have done everything they could possibly think of to get us out.
     Would I have left if daddy had known about the abuse and came to take me home? I wish I could say yes, but most likely I would have stayed, simply because I love my family too much to take a chance on getting them hurt or killed.
       Staying was the wrong choice back then, just as it is today. My daddy had no idea that I or my son were being abused and I knew the threats were real, but that choice cost me the life of my son. It also caused me to lose my other son to adoption.
       Listen friends, abuse is not something you compromise about. Unless God intervenes, the abuse is not going to stop, its only going to get worse. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave because you will become more and more convinced that what you are doing is best for everyone.
       I stayed until I became like a little child simply just doing whatever he told me to do. There are ways to protect your family, there is help, but you have to be the one to take that first step to get it.
      

Yvonne Jones, A Time To Heal: The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: "It's not my fault"

     One of the worst things a person who is being abused can do is believe the lie, "Its your fault." I think one of the hardest lessons for a woman to learn is, you cannot fix everyone or everything. God created us to be nurturers, and automatically we see a problem and believe we have the answer. "If I would just do this, or if I wouldn't have done that, he wouldn't be treating me this way." The sad part is, he tells you that you are to blame, and convinces you that if you would just learn to listen to him and do what he says then he wouldn't have to hurt you.
     I had to learn the hard way that it didn't matter what I did, or said, it was always my fault according to him. God did not create us to be a punching bag for anyone and if you are being abused in any way at all, you need to realize that "ITS NOT YOUR FAULT." The truth is, it doesn't matter what you do, how you act, or even how you treat him; if he gets angry, it will always be your fault in his eyes.
     Remember, only God can change a persons heart and life, and that person has to be willing to change. Next: "He said he'd kill my family.

Yvonne Jones, A Time To Heal: The Struggles of a Battered Woman on: I'm being watched

    
     Have you ever been in a room and just sensed that someone was looking at you from a distance? You might not be able to see them, but you just somehow know that they are there. This is another sign of a person who is potentially abusive. I guess you could also title this "Being Possessive." If your partner cannot seem to be away from you at all for any length of time, becomes angry if they can't reach you by phone, accuses you of cheating on them if you are a few minutes late, monitors your phone calls, and I could go on and on; This is not love, this is someone who is controlling, possessive and most likely will be physically abusive. 
     One of the first things someone who is abusive does, is try to get you away from your family. Your family will be the first ones to notice if there is something different,  not quite right with you, or If you start to act strange etc. They become jealous and demand all of your time, pretending that they just love you and want to be near you; yet not wanting to let you out of their sight.
      I couldn't go to the grocery store alone, without having him accuse  me of fooling around with one of the male cashiers and I was 9 months pregnant. If I was a little late coming home then I was cheating or trying to leave  He would listen in on my phone calls and I would get beatings afterwards because of something I may or may not have said to the person on the other end.
      Let me warn you, if you are dating, or in a relationship and you are being watched or monitored continuously then this is abuse. If someone truly loves you, they will trust you, no matter where you go or what you do, with or without them. Next: "Its not my fault."

Yvonne Jones, A Time to Heal: The Struggles of A Battered Woman on: Saying yes whether you mean it or not

    Have you ever been around somebody who well just about everything they say or do you disagree with? You really wanted to tell them that you didn't agree, but doing so would bring about an argument, or even worse. This is one of the biggest forms of abuse that is so damaging. Sometimes you have to learn to agree to disagree, that's true and sometimes in order to keep peace, its better to just let them believe you agree whether you do or not. However in a relationship that's abusive this is very dangerous. If you start out in the beginning having to agree with someone just to keep from getting hit etc., then you need to get out as soon as possible.
      My ex-husband told me many times that I was stupid, fat, ugly, and that nobody but he would ever love me. He would often say "you are stupid aren't you?" Then tell me I'd better say yes or he would kill me etc. I found myself many times agreeing with whatever he said just hoping that it would calm him down, and even then sometimes it didn't matter. If I agreed he'd hit me, if I didn't agree he'd hit me, and it got to the point that it didn't matter whether I spoke or didn't say anything at all, he would still hit me.
      If you have to keep peace by agreeing to something that you disagree with, then this is abuse. God created each one of us with different personalities. You may not always agree with me and I may not always agree with you, but that doesn't give us the right to hurt someone because of it. The longer you stay in this kind of an abusive relationship, the harder it is mentally to get out. Next: "I'm being watched."